Don't Miss That Potty Train
OK, so instead of posting an idea that actually works for me, today is Backwards Works For Me Wednesday, so I am calling on my dear readers for help.
Energizer Baby (affectionately known as EB in these bloggy parts) isn't potty trained. Yet. He will be three in February and everyone is giving me the, "Oh...he's not potty trained yet" sympathetic spill when it gets brought up in a conversation.
I've tried. Lord knows I have tried. I've done the "aim for the Cheerios" thing and even that didn't work. He just flat out hates the potty. Hates it. Screams and dissolves into a crying mess when I try to have him sit on it. He shows absolutely NO interest. None.
The mom in me thinks he will eventually catch on. He's a smart little guy and he can tell me when he has used the bathroom. I've even read somewhere that it sometimes takes little boys longer to catch on to potty training. But then I get those comments from people and it makes me second guess myself.
So, any advice for a first time potty training mom?
You can find more WFMW posts here.
14 Crackalackin' Comments:
my (now 6) first-born did not even begin to potty train til just about his 3rd birthday and then it happened all at once because he was just ready. be patient...and remember, he will not go to college...heck, he will not go to kindergarten!...in diapers!
I just posted a bit about our potty training technique earlier today. I'm 2 for 2 with it so far and am about to try #3. Feel free to let me know if you have questions after reading my post. I'm happy to help!
http://selahgraphics.net/noendinsite/2007/11/06/the-excitement-is-building/
I just went through this. My oldest is 2 1/2 and all my friends were pt'ing their kids (all 24 mo and YOUNGER) in like 3 DAYS! Well.. I was freaking out and got really frustrated b/c if they could do it WHY COULDN'T I!! The best advice that I got was to back off and let her tell me when SHE was ready. I backed off and might ask her every now and then, but about 2 weeks later, she said the magic words "I gotta go p.p." and once she realized that was what was supposed to happen and that she got a little treat, we've only had one major accident.
Just remember that when we get stressed they sense it and become stressed as well.
Hope this help! He'll get it... just don't let everyone else stress you out about it.
Potty training days were some of the darkest in my young parenting days! My girls, now 9 and 12, were wonderful, obedient little things, but both of them had issues with the potty. Looking back, I can see now that ALL of their issues were really my issues. I was stressed about the whole thing, letting myself think that it was a reflection back on me if they weren't keeping up with their peers. It is so difficult when everyone has something to say -- which is what they all do when you have little ones.
The success with both girls came when I basically threw up my hands and let them tell me when they were ready, rather than letting the neighbors or church ladies tell me. It is hard, and you will feel embarrassed sometimes, but maybe you could craft a pat response for those times that someone chimes in, to defuse the situation and retain your dignity! Like, "We're working on it."
Also, we gave my little one princes panties for Christmas and said they were from Santa, and there was no way she was going to mess those up!
Mandy
p.s. Your comment on my blog was a huge encouragement. Thanks.
My son didn't PT until just before is 4th birthday. Most kids actually do PT between 3 and 4, but that doesn't stop people from raising tehir eyebrows if your six month old has yet to show any interest in the potty.
I started trying to PT my son on his first birthday. Two years later, I wanted to go hang myself anytime I was questioned about his progress. My MIL even suggested he might be retarded, and kept up with it even after my pediatrician assured her he was completely normal.
What ended up working in the end was letting him go entirely back to diapers. After about a week of that, he didn't want anything to do with them anymore. And as a bonus, his little sister PT'd by her 2nd birthday by watching him. I didn't even try to train her, LOL.
Don't stress it. The fighting and tears are not worth it. Every kids is different and you have to find what works for them. Here are my stories:
DD #1- the week before he turned four he finally got it. We had been fighting for a year, off and on. He learned to read on the toilet because he wouldn't go and would sit for an hour or more. He peed on my foot once telling me he didn't have to go. We took a trip to my mom's (so she could see I really wasn't a slacker at this) and she saw the same problem. One day she saw his undies on backwards. She told him the magic hole goes in the front. He asked what it was for and couldn't wait to pee standing up (he went 4 times during breakfast). I had been sitting him down since the books kept saying everything usually comes out at the same time. He never had an accident and never had a problem going poop.
DD #1: 3. She had been "training" when she was 2 1/2 by watching me with her brother. I wasn't pushing her since I was pregnant with #3 and didn't want to deal with regression. At 3 she would have fits if we put her in panties and would tell us "I want my diaper". I figured M&Ms would work for my chocoholic. Nope. Nothing would work until right before her dance recital. I told her babies don't get to wear frilly dance dresses and would she like to try panties for 10 minutes. We set the timer. After 10 minutes we set it for another 10. She had a pee accident, but that was it. No problem with poop.
DD # 2 was almost 4. He would scream and cry and tense up. It just took time for him. He won't stand up to pee, though, and he's almost 5.
I just posted about this myself...I like many others, just finally gave up trying to MAKE her go. My son was the easiest, he was one of those exceptions for a boy, he was trained by 2! BUT not my little princess! She is VERY strong willed, and I have really just come to terms with that. When I tell her to go, she flat out refuses to go, but over the last 3 days I have just let her go on her own (with a polite reminder that she can ask for help if she needs to) and she has had 3 days of dry panties with the exception of one night time. (we will tackle that later) I have put her in nothing but panties since Saturday. I ran out of pull ups at home and decided that we would NOT buy them anymore. For some kids pull ups are great, for others they are just another place they can pee and poop and not make a big mess!
I know that may not have been the advice you were looking for, or it may not be all that much help for you right now, but I wanted you to know you ARE NOT ALONE!
Angela
I read (somewhere...I don't remember where) that if you force potty training, it could have negative psychological effects.
Someone gave me the advice once to not push it. Eventually, your child will get sick of eliminating and then sitting in it. And when they go off to college, nobody's going to ask him when he potty trained. It's just not important to him right now.
We potty trained my son backwards (taught him to poop in the potty before worrying about the pee.) I posted some tips last week--check out http://sahmmysays.blogspot.com/2007/10/ten-tips-to-potty-trainbackwards.html
Good luck! Potty training is so hard!
Stick with it! When he's ready he'll do it, just ignore everyone else!
First, you are his mom, and you know what is best for him and for your family. Don't let others (or me) pressure you. This is simply my point of view and what worked for me.
The magic time for potty training is 2 years 3 months. I suppose it is optimum because most children at this age understand the concept and have the physical ability to hold their bowel movements. As they grow older, it gets harder for them to train because they have LEARNED to go in their diapers and it is a habit. Many develop fears of the toilet that they don’t have at an earlier age. I realize many people now believe that it is better to wait until your child is ready or shows an interest, but this idea has sprung up in the recent generation. And, more and more kids are not potty trained in kindergarten. I have a school teacher friend who said one of their classes had to add an extra helper because there were so many kids who weren’t potty trained. It is not damaging to your child for you to facilitate his potty training, just like you introduced sippy cups and car seats before he was ready or showed an interest.
He won't be "interested" until you make it worth his while. I potty trained my boy in the summer, when he could play around naked outside (we have a big private back yard). I started with a brief, matter-of-fact discussion with him that he was now a big boy and it was time to quit using diapers. For him, it was no different than having to wear shoes – it took getting used to but there was not question about whether or not he wore shoes. I used up all of the diapers before hand so that *I* would not be tempted to use them. Inside, I put him in cotton trainers. It was messy, but only for two days. He couldn't stand the feel of stuff going down his leg or the wet trainers and to didn’t like to see it on the floor. The second day, we went and bought a bunch of cheap toys and for every time he used the potty, he got to pick a toy. That did it for him. I think the biggest thing is for YOU to mean it and be ready. He has to know that whatever happens and however much he screams or makes a mess, he will not ever go back to diapers. It will initially be hard work for both of you, but its rewards pay off soon – no more buying and changing diapers! Wahoo!
Sorry so long… Good luck.
I have read somewhere that potty training has nothing to do with how intellectual they are. Learning this eased my anxiety of my son not using the potty. He is so smart and can say things I would never think could come out of his mouth yet he shows zero interest in putting his poop in the potty. He would rather put it on our end table in the living room....you'll just have to read my post on that one!!! HAHA!
Good luck!!!! (I need some myself!!!!)
I have five kids, from 13 years to 18 months. I hate potty training!!! I'm right there with ya, sister - my #4 turned 3 in August and he is just now turning the corner. What everyone else says is right - readiness is important and it is very individual. My boys were all around 3 or older before they "got it." Hang in there! Blessings! :)
Sadly, as you know, I have NO advice! And our pediatrician always advises to not push it. What seemed to work for big sister was the peer pressure at daycare, however that doesn't seem to budge baby sister! Sigh...I even have some "cool" Dora panties waiting for her in the drawer.
Good luck!
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